Malik Birthday Special: The Perfect Present
by Toshimi
Summary: Tsuki and Toshimi hunt for the perfect present for Malik's birthday in Wal-Mart! Will they ever find it? One-shot fic.


HAPPY BIRFDAY MALIK-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!! 

Tsuki: No one else remebered, but I shall make this fanfic for j00. huggles him

Malik: Am I sure I want her remebering my birthday?

Toshimi: Probably not. But she really does care about you. And of course, I do too. hugs him

Malik: GAAAH! I hate when you do that in public.

Tsuki: HEY!!! GET ME IN ON THE ACTION, BABY!!!

Toshimi: shoots her with a Ritalin tranquilizer gun Alright, lets get on with it.

BTW, I wrote this about 6 months ago, but had to wait for his birthday (December 23) to post it. Unfortunately, in the past six months I lost it somewhere, and so I just retyped it from memory, but this one isn't nearly as funny/good as the original one was. And it's my first time writing in non-script form, so it'll probably sound weird. Oh well. Screw ya'll.

Also, Toshimi and Tsuki are two of my general RP charecters based on myself. I am not going to explain every detail about them right here, you will be fine if you just read. Reading this will just be like seeing what would go through my mind while I shop with my calmer side and my crazy side.

This is probably the sanest fic I will ever write.

DISCLAIMER: I don't (unfortunately) own Wal-Mart or Yugioh. But Toshimi and Tsuki are mine. HA! I FINALLY OWN SOMETHING!!!!

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**MALIK'S BIRTHDAY SPECIAL FANFIC: SHOPPING FOR THE PERFECT PRESENT WITH TOSHIMI AND TSUKI**

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(On December 23, Malik's birthday, 2 hours before the party, Tsuki and Toshimi realized that they didn't have a present. So, it was off to Wal-Mart because that is the superness-coolness-store-of-doom.)

Toshimi and Tsuki walked into Walmart with the cart they obtained outside. As usual, Toshimi was stuck with pushing it while Tuski bounded off, jumping at everything she saw.

"LOOOOOOK! IT'S WAL-MART!" exclaimed Tsuki.

Toshimi sighed. "Yes, I realize that. As I do eveytime we come in the store with 'Wal-Mart' blazoned upon the entrance."

Tsuki ignored Toshimi and proceeded to run to the boy's T-shirt section.

_Oh God, not the Yugioh T-Shirts again. Please, it was bad enough at J.C. Penney's._ "Tsuki, don't even start..."

Tsuki rummaged through the rack of Yugioh t-shirts only to turn away from them with a rather displeased look on her face. "They...don't...have..any...Malik...shirts..." she stated as she started to twitch.

_I was afraid of this...she does this everytime..._ Toshimi thought as she sighed heavily. _At least I hid the scissors from her..._

Tsuki continued to twitch as she talked. "They..only...have...frickin...Yami...on...them...YAMI MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tsuki whipped out a pair of scissors from her, uh, we won't mention where right now.

Toshimi suddenly became alarmed and widened her eyes in surprise and horror. _WHAT??? I SENT THOSE TO THE SHADOW REALM!!!_ "TSUKI! STOP! I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THOSE, BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO..."

But alas, Toshimi was too late. Tsuki got that crazed look in her eyes and proceeded to shred all the shirts with Yami on them with her scissors. Toshimi ran over and futilelessly tried to stop her without being slashed.

"TSUKI! STOP!!! REMEMBER J.C. PENNY'S!!!! STOP!!!!" Tsuki stopped for a second. She did remeber Penny's. She didn't like that time. The S.W.A.T. or F.L.Y. people, whoever they were, didn't give her a good feeling. It was like the feeling she got when she stuck a fork in the toaster, but worse.

"Fine, I'll stop," Tsuki replied, relinquishing the scissors back to Toshimi. Man, those were hard to get back. Bakura charges alot for Shadow Realm Recoveries. Oh well. She'll find another way. Tsuki sneered at the Yami shirts that were left.

"I'm watching you. I am. So watch yourself, punk. You and your rayon-cotton synthetic fiber friends." As Toshimi dragged her away, Tsukicontinued to whipher head back around at the t-shirts to make sure they got the message.

_That was close. Too close. I'm going to have to bribe Bakura to not perform any recoveries for Tsuki anymore..._ Toshimi sighed again. This was going to be a tedious gift hunt.

* * *

Tsuki started to bound off again in front of Toshimi and the acrt. They still had to find something, and this excursion wasn't going well. Tsuki then stopped and exclaimed, "PERFECT!"

"Nani?" Toshimi muttered. (I do that in real life. U) She then looked to where Toshimi was pointing at: the lingerie section.

"Ugh..." Toshimi groaned.

Tsuki inquired, "What's wrong?"

"NO!"

"But why?"

"BECAUSE. What would you think if someone gave you a boustier for your birthday?" Tsuki grinned mischeviously and started to open her mouth in a reply. "No, Ra, don't. I don't want to hear that," Toshimi quickly rebutted while a slight shiver went down her spine.

"But I know you wanna see him in it," Tsuki supplied with a teasing tone in her voice.

Toshimi blushed furiously. "Um...no...I don't...SHUT UP! I HATE YOU, YOU KNOW THAT!!! NOW KEEP GOING AND DO NOT SAY ANOTHER WORD OR I WILL SEND ALL YOUR POCKY TO THE SHADOW REALM AND TRUST ME, BAKURA WON'T BE ABLE TO GET IT BACK THIS TIME."

Tsuki, reduced to kneeling on the floor in submission in fear of Toshimi, absentmindedly started drawing circles with her finger on the floor. "Ooo-kkk-k..." Toshimi was scary when she was mad. But it was worth it to see that red face. Her super-speed Poloroid of Doom had frozen that moment forever. Tsuki thought about how Toshimi's embaressed expression would be all over the Internet by tomorrow morning...

"TSUKI!" Toshimi yelled as she snapped Tsuki back into reality. "Let's go." Toshimi took a deep breath and regained her temporarily lost cool demeanor as she started to push the cart again. Tsuki stood up and proceeded to scout out more potential presents.

After a few minutes of playing nice, she exclaimed "LOOK! GOLD!!!"

Toshimi, already exasperated, reluctantlylooked overto see what Tsuki wanted this time. She was pointing at the men's jewlery section at a gold necklace in the cases. Wow, an actually plausible gift.

"Oh," Toshimi shortly replied. "That may be the first sane idea you've had today. And a good one, at that." Toshimi turned the cart and pushed it over to the cases.

"May I help you?" the sales lady inquired.

"Yes, how much is this?" Toshimi pointed to the necklace that Tsuki chose.

"TEN BILLION YEN!!!" Tsuki suddenly yelled as she popped up. Toshimi pushed Tsuki's head back below the counter and put on a fake smile as the clerk furrowed her eyebrows incredulously.

"Actually, it's on sale for $25.00 today," the sales lady said.

"Alright, we'll take it," Toshimi replied as the clerk brought the necklace out. She put it in the cart and called Tsuki back over after she snuck away to the toys section.

_Well, Tsuki has her gift. Now I just gotta find mine..._ Toshimi looks at Tsuki playing with a light-up firetruck. _DAMMIT!!! I WANNA GIVE HIM THE NECKLACE!!!!_

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After walking through most of the store, Toshimi was getting worried. Tsuki had the damn necklace she wanted, but Toshimi wasn't having any luck in finding a present. She was also cutting it close with the party starting in about an hour. And they were nearing the hunting and sports section, which was always a dangerous place to be with Tsuki rampaging around.

Tsuki spotted the guns and knives. "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH......" she uttered as she bagan to walk like a zombie over to the display case. "LOOK AT THE PURTY KNIVES, TOSHIMI!!! SHINY SHINY!!!"

Toshimi sighed yet again. She was sighing a lot today. Normally, she would join Tsuki in staring at the knives. She liked knives. She had a nice collection at home. But today she was just too stressed out.She whimpered inside her head_I just wanna get this overwith..._

"Hey, Toshimi! Why don't you get him a knife? He can never have enough, you know."

_A knife. From me. Heh, that would be great. Although he wouldn't mind, I know he just wouldn't expect that kinda gift from me..._

Toshimi looked over at Tsuki, and it seemed as if a lightbulb had turned on in her head.

_But he would from Tsuki..._ Toshimi thought as a plan started to formulate in her head.

"Hey, Tsuki."

"Yea?"

"How about we get the knife, but trade gifts. I'll give him the necklace, and you give him the knife."

"But I wanna give him the shiny."

"Ya, but then wouldn't he think you're some kinda wussy? After all those times you beat him at Duel Monsters and made him be your slave for weeks on end and you're giving him a necklace? Now what kind of image does that give off?" Toshimi knew exactly how to work Tsuki. She'd rather die than let anyone think she was a wuss for any reason.

"HEY! You've got an excellent point, m'dear. Let's make a trade," Tsuki said as she randomly took on an English accent.

_Phew, good thing that's taken care of._ Toshimi collected the knife and dragged Tsuki away towards the cash registers.

* * *

Toshimi was relieved that they had made it back in time for the party without too much trouble during and after the checkout ("ICE! ICE! CAN WE BUY HIM ICE??? PLEEEEEEEEEASE???? JUST A COUPLE BAGS!!!!"). Now it was time to relax and have some fun.

The party was a fun event all-in-all, despite Tea showing up with some misconceived notion that she was invited. That, of course, was easily fixed with the help of Bakura and his Ring. Toshimi had some slight suspicions that Tea might have been sent to Bakura's chambers rather than the Shadow Realm where she was supposed to go, but she didn't really care anymore. Malik liked the necklace, and wasn't too phased by Tsuki and her gift either. It had all turned out well, and she was just glad that eveything was over.

"Oi," Bakura said. "All this gift-giving and cheerfullness crap reminds me: isn't Christmas Eve tomorrow?"

Toshimi stopped. Everything. Including breathing. "Whh-a-a-a-ttt??"

Tsuki chimed in, "Ya, it is. More presents for EVERYONE!!!! YAYYYY!!!!"

Toshimi was silent.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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Heh. Heh. That really sucked. At least compared to the original and my other ones. Oh well. I payed my tribute to Malik.

I actually can't believe how sane this was compared to my other fanfics.

Oh, and BTW, I'm rewriting YGO Kindergarten so it won't get deleted and I'm posting Ch2 afterwards. So fans of it, ITS COMIN BACK!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALIK-SAMA!!!!!!


End file.
